A new beginning

Death is something we all have to confront at some point in our lives. If there is anything certain about life on this earth, it is that it will end. And yet we all prefer not to think about death at all - to such an extent that when it does touch someone close to us, we are shaken, moved to the very core of our being. Why, I wonder, does society train us to live like this? There is a very telling story from the Mahabharata which hits exactly on this aspect of human behavior. It goes as follows: During the Pandavas' exile, They are staying at a ashram with some sages along with their wife Draupadi. One day the arani(firesticks) is stolen by a deer. On hearing about this, the Pandavas go in search of the firesticks deep into the jungle.

Soon all the five brothers, Yudhishthira, Bhim, Arjun, Nakul and Sahadev get tired and thirsty. Yudhishthira instructs his brothers to look for a source of water and one of the brother climbs a tree and sees a pond in the distance. Sahadev goes to fetch water from the pond, while others take rest. When Sahadev reaches the lake, he is suddenly confronted by a Yaksha, a celestial being, who challenges him to answer his questions before he can take any water from the pond. On failing to do so, Sahadev is struck in a dead faint. A similar fate affects the rest of the brothers who follow Sahadev, until Yudhishthira arrives there and acquiesces to the Yaksha's request. He then proceeds to answer all of the Yaksha's questions with his infinite wisdom. One of the questions is these - "What is the most surprising thing in the world?" - to which Yudhishthira answers - "The most surprising thing in the world is that in spite of hearing of the death of near ones, and knowing that death will one day, inevitably, knock on his door, every human being continues to live as if he will live on this earth for all eternity."

Quite true, isn't it? Nothing could be further from our minds than death, as we go about our daily activities. And yet, I wonder, if there was that awareness of the finitude of material life at all moments, how differently would we behave? Would we then be more careful of our every action, be more efficient in our work, not spend that extra hour lazing in bed? Would we try to make the most of the limited, and oh, so precious, life we have? Or would we live every day in constant fear, awaiting our death like the goat awaits the fall of the butcher's knife? Hopefully not! What the realization of finitude should give us is a sense of responsibility and action, not one of fatalism or despair. Death is the end of a lifetime on this material plane - but it is not the end of everything, not the end of "us". The eternality of the human soul is a concept described in detail by every stream of religious thought. It is in fact one of those common underlying threads that runs through every religion. Of course, many of these conceptions have lost their philosophical depth over time, with much being interpreted literally. And so we have the concept of a heaven and a hell as places somewhere in the universe, of a satyrical Satan waiting with glee to grab hold of your soul and put you to work in the burning fires of hell forever, of precisely 14 levels of existence (also someplace in the universe) between which our soul shuttles based on its Karma (with the earth somewhere in the middle) - and so on. Much of these concepts seem to arise from fairly literal interpretations of texts. I prefer to think of death as a new beginning - a new beginning on that never-ending quest to get closer to God, to attain that ever-elusive spiritual perfection. Heaven and hell seem to be not so much places as states - of closeness and distance from God. Abdu'l-Bahá says:

"When they [men] are delivered through the light of faith from the darkness of these vices, and become illuminated with the radiance of the sun of reality, and ennobled with all the virtues, they esteem this the greatest reward, and they know it to be the true paradise. In the same way they consider that the spiritual punishment ... is to be subjected to the world of nature, to be veiled from God, to be brutal and ignorant, to fall into carnal lusts, to be absorbed in animal frailties, to be characterized with dark qualities ... these are the greatest punishments and tortures..."

So really, all hell is, is being separated from God. The raging fires are really in one's own heart. Darkness is but an absence of light - it is not a being in itself. Every soul attempts to get closer to God, to shed the veils shrouding it from the light of God's grace - and the extent to which it is able to achieve that defines its own heaven/hell for itself.

Once seen in that light, things become clearer - the purpose of life on this planet, once we realize our finitude, is not to sit and despair and await the inevitable - but rather, to rise up and seize the moment, and take every opportunity to further our spiritual growth, so we may be that tiny bit closer to God. What our impending death should give us is a sense of urgency to achieve this. It should also enable us to handle the deaths of our near and dear with greater equanimity, with a sense of hope and prayer for their souls as they progress on their own spiritual journeys, as opposed to one of sorrow and loss.

This is the day

"Lift up your hearts above the present and look with eyes of faith into the future! Today the seed is sown, the grain falls upon the earth, but behold the day will come when it shall rise a glorious tree and the branches thereof shall be laden with fruit. Rejoice and be glad that this day has dawned, try to realize its power, for it is indeed wonderful! God has crowned you with honor and in your hearts has He set a radiant star; verily the light thereof shall brighten the whole world! "

- Abdu'l Baha

There is much to think about in the above quote, but today I shall talk about just one. The overpowering feeling these words arouse is one of hope, optimism, joy and happiness. The Baha'i faith talks about this day being a great one in the history of mankind which, at first sight, seems rather strange. After all, isn't the world best with problems today, wracked by wars, with millions dying of starvation and disease across the world, while power-hungry capitalists are slavering to make money? Isn't this the day when the threat of nuclear and biological warfare looms large over our heads, when we fight each other on idealogical grounds? And isn't this the Kali Yuga, as defined by the Hindu scriptures, the age when mankind sinks to utter depravity, and all hope is lost? Seems a bit of a far stretch, doesn't it, to expect us to "rejoice and be glad that this day has dawned.."?!

What seems counter-intuitive and paradoxical to the sayings of other faiths, though, becomes clearer when we examine the statement more closely, and in the context of the other Baha'i teachings. This day is said to be the day that humanity has reached maturity. Now again, many would claim that the actions of several millions of the human species - in particular, our leaders - really indicate otherwise. But let us view the concept of maturity from a different perspective - from one of capacity, as opposed to action. Ah, now the mists rise, the murkiness clears! For truly, in terms of what the human race is capable of doing, and our own individual capacities (even if only potential), we are far ahead of where any of recorded history says we ever were. In my eyes, at least, what makes the past century really different from any of the preceding ones is the fact that, for the first time, the entire world is truly interlinked and interdependent. For the first time, we can go anywhere in the world, talk to people anywhere in the world, hear news from anywhere in the world. This really represents a qualitative leap from the condition of the world at any time in the past, making a lot of concepts - such as nationalism, warfare, conquest, trying to get one's nation to do better at the cost of another - questionable, even redundant. It is also a day when, as a species, we can finally address the problems facing this earth as a whole - pollution, global warming and protection of natural life being but a few of these. We have the tools with us to really effect change in this world. We have vast communications networks, scientific prowess that is increasing exponentially, a growing knowledge of different cultures and peoples. No one country today can survive on its own - we all need resources from each other. This shrinking of the world into a global village really requires a paradigmatic shift in thinking.

Of course, though we possess these tools, the question is how we use it. From that perspective mankind today can be likened to the adolescent teenager - a combination of mature capacities and not-so-mature actions. How we use our capacities today is critical, for just as we have the capacity to go great good in the world today, we also have a capability to cause destruction that is unparalleled in history. Currently we don't seem to be doing a very good job of it - and in that sense, it is the Kali Yuga. But even the Kali Yuga comes to an end. Of course, the common interpretation on that is one of annihilation of the entire world and its recreation, but I believe the idea really is metaphoric. The key concept here is one of a renewal of the human spirit, of rejuvenation and rebirth. And that really is what the Baha'i faith says as well - that today we are at the threshold of that golden age of unity and prosperity. For, given where the world stands today, unity and harmony really is the only option. Getting there might involve a lot of hardship and pain - but get there, we will. As my dear friend Michelle pointed out, very penetratingly I thought, it takes a lot of rotting, smelly vegetable skins to form enough compost that can act as fertilizer for something new and pure to grow!

The butterfly effect

A conversation with Vidi today made me think quite deeply about how significant the effect of seemingly mundane choices, decisions and events are on one's life. For example, the apparently innocuous choice Vidi made that day, seven and a half years ago, when she chose to call me to ask me about the file reversal program for the computer science homework, set off a chain of events that led her to be one of the most important people in my life - and me in hers. It is not often that one can so clearly trace back the beginnings of something to its roots - if one could, I believe one would similarly find most of what is important in one's life having its genesis in some very harmless event. Similarly, there is me deciding to listen to my cousin Siddharth one day and just go see what this whole Artistes Unlimited thing was all about. And that single decision led me through some of the most life-changing experiences - both positive and negative - and in many ways brought me to where I am today. It wouldn't be a far stretch to say that a lot of what I think and believe in today would not have existed had I not gone to that practice session. And it was a rainy day. I could just as well have not gone - I almost didn't, in fact.

It reminds me of one of the theories of the universe, that postulates a multiverse - a multitude of universes, where at every instant of time, the universe splits into many more universes, each determining a unique sequence of events. How many universes would exist now, if we started with one at the dawn of time?

This spiraling phenomenon is commonly referred to as the butterfly effect in chaos theory - where, as Lorentz pointed out many years ago, a flap of a butterfly's wings in Brazil, could eventually set off a tornado in Texas - that would not have occurred had the butterfly not flapped its wings. The mind boggles at the thought of such complex interactions amongst the myriad particles in the atmosphere that could cause such an insignificant action to spiral into a very noticeable phenomenon.

But apply the same principle to human lives, and the level of complexity is multiplied several fold. It is these experiences, these choices, that determine who we are, our character, our beliefs, are thoughts - and our future actions. Of course, there is no way of determining whether we made the better choice - life would have been equally good, had one chosen the other path at any decision node. But who knows what the outcome might have been! For example, if Vidi had not called me that day - who knows where I would be right now, what kind of life I'd be leading, what I would believe in... And this is still just between me and her. Imagine the effect of every single interaction of ours with our fellow human beings, with our environment that we have from day to day. And all the lives we directly or indirectly touch in some irreversible way. And multiply this by 6 billion - because every person in the world is affecting every other in some inconspicuous way. And then multiply by some huge number to get the interactions we've had with the world through all of mankind's history. Staggering, isn't it? The amount of interconnectedness that exists. When one thinks of it in this way, its impossible not to believe there is a greater underlying spirit to all of reality, that holds us together. And it also points out the responsibility we have towards everyone and everything around us. How sacred our interactions with the tiniest atom are! For every little action, every little choice - changes the world irreversibly just that one little bit. And in doing so, affects the balance of the world just that tiny bit. And affects every single soul just that tiny bit. And over time, that tiny action has produced everlasting, observable change in the order of things.

It is of course impossible to map out entirely the consequences of an action - but maybe this will make us all think just that little bit more before doing anything. Will make us careful, and just a little more considerate of how our actions can affect the harmonious balance that God so carefully maintains our world in.

Quote of the day

"A kindly tongue is the lodestone of the hearts of men. It is the bread of the spirit, it clotheth the words with meaning, it is the fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding"

- Baha'u'llah

How important it is to have a kindly tongue! This is something we neglect so often - I do it all the time, I'm sure... However precious the message might be, if delivered without kindness and love, it is of no use whatsoever. This is in fact so critical that it is the lodestone of the human heart - it is what attracts the hearts of men to us. Whether people understand you or not, whether they accept what you say or not - the true bond between hearts is formed only when words are spoken with gentleness, kindness and love. Kindness is described as the "fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding" - even if you have the wisdom and knowledge, that will only flow and wash over others when delivered through the fountain of a kindly tongue. Not only that, it is the bread of the spirit - it is what feeds our own spirit, purifying and refreshing it. How beautiful and powerful a message!

I have resolved to think of this quote once every day at least. Maybe this way, at least occasionally I might be reminded, at the right moment, that a kind word can be a million times more precious than the rarest of gems.

The benevolent Father

God. What's the first image that springs to your mind when I utter the word? Depending on your religious and cultural background, it's probably one of the following:

1. An old man with a long flowing beard and a kindly face
2. A multi-armed Vishnu lying on the Shesh-Nag
3. A trident-wielding Shiva meditating on Mt.Kailash
4. The face of Buddha surrounded by an ethereal halo
5. Jesus on the cross

There are several striking things that I find result from the above exercise. One, everyone, whatever their beliefs, have a concept of God - including those claiming to not believe in a God at all. Two, this concept is usually highly anthropomorphic. Three, its almost always a male. Four, this image usually embodies some very deep spiritual quality - love, kindness, benevolence, sacrifice, detachment... While all these are interesting in their own ways, I'll largely talk about the first two in this post.

The Bible talks about how God created man in his own image. Anthropomorphism is interesting in that it uses this concept to effect the exact opposite - creating a concept of God in our own image. In my mind idols and anthropomorphic images have a very specific origin in the history of man - they were primarily meant to be tools, ways for people to access more abstract concepts in a tangible way. It is indeed rather unfortunate that the caveat that these tools were no doubt created with - namely, that they are inaccurate representations to be used only as a starting point on one's search for truth - has been discarded by the wayside somewhere along the road of mankind's history. Not only that, these images have now become larger than life - they have permeated every level of our society, and are the fulcrums on which the cogs of the human machine turn. And worst of all, they are frequently the points of dissension amongst groups of people and go so far as to cause wars.

My adviser often likes to use this quote by George F.Box in his presentations - "All models are wrong. Some are useful." That's how I'd like to think anthropomorphism had its genesis - as a wrong, but nevertheless useful, model of a reality we cannot ever hope to comprehend. It is a sad commentary on the state of society that the model itself has become greater than the quest for that reality.

The Baha'i faith talks about God being an unknowable essence - one we can never hope to know or understand with our finite minds; and yet one who's qualities and attributes are reflected in all of creation. If we actually go beyond the superficial, we see striking parallels to this concept in all other religions as well. In the Gita, Arjuna describes the Lord, Krishna, as being "inexhaustible", "without origin, middle or end", and "of limitless glory" (chapter 10, verses 18-19). In spite of these words, a quick history lesson tells us how, over thousands of years, Hinduism became extremely anthropomorphic, with the priests using the concept of idol worship as a way to control an unknowing populace. It was precisely to counter this that the Buddha - who is accepted by most Hindus, even, to be an incarnation of the Lord - sought to bring the concept of a God back to its abstract self. The Quran breathes the same words - most Muslims generally believe that Allah is unknowable.

Where many cleave to such an anthropomorphic understanding of God, we also have, on the other hand, those who are repelled from religion precisely for the same reason. Claims of atheism always discomfit me a little because I really think that a lot of self-proclaimed atheists aren't really against a concept of an extra-worldly reality, but are just against the image society has of that reality. When asked, most people generally admit to some kind of belief about what it is that really underlies this world of existence. So it is really the myths propounded by organized religion that a lot of people are against - not the essential spirit itself.

Today I believe humanity has reached a level of maturity that makes the tool of anthropomorphism redundant. With the shrinking of the world to a global village, the access we enjoy to knowledge and information, all we really need to do is open our hearts, shed our preconceived notions, and go out and search.

The necessity of a spiritual reality

Today I had the most interesting discussion with Prashant (my dearest of friends), William, and JiaHua (I probably completely massacred the spelling of her name). It came at the end of a wonderful talk by Vida. Prashant and I had wanted to organize this talk and invite some of our friends - he's always marveling to me about how people don't use a resource like Vida more often than they do, and I quite see his point! I have seldom met a person who embodies the bhakti rasa more completely than Vida. She's easily one of the most inspiring people I know, and hearing her talk always fills me with a gladness and joy that few things have the ability to evoke. So we figured we should try and get some of our friends to come and listen to her. The topic chosen for the talk was "The search for truth - a Baha'i perspective". We didn't have a very large gathering, but that was fine. I won't go in much detail over what Vida said - it was, as usual enlightening and enervating at the same time. The most incredible thing about Vida is that you can so see her love for all of God's creations in every word that she utters - it is just so evident. And it makes her words all the more transformative. She spoke a little about the basic tenets of the Baha'i faith, and then went to the heart of the topic - about how it is necessary, before we embark on the quest for spiritual truth, that we open out our hearts, get rid of any pre-conceived notions or ideas, and purify our souls. About how the root cause of all the religious conflicts we have today, the apparent contradictions between different faiths is due primarily to the misinterpretation and misrepresentation of the teachings of the divine teachers. About how, if we clear the haze and mist and get rid of the veils we have, we will find, beneath it all, the golden threads that run common to all the different faiths in the world. And how, all these teachings are really but different facets of the progressive revelation of truth over the ages, and how all these divine teachers and manifestations really come from the same one God. I won't go into any more details about her talk - suffice it to say that it was illuminating and inspiring.

Once most people had left, however, William raised a question that really burgeoned into the most interesting discussion. This essence of his question was this - Why do we need a spiritual reality, a Source greater than the physical, to explain the existence of these spiritual forces of love, kindness etc? Why can ethical laws not be just like physical laws - descriptive, rather than causative? Could moral codes not be just a product of human evolution - because it was necessary for society to survive and progress? I find it a very interesting question myself, because its something I've grappled with a lot myself - intuitively, instinctively, I believe there is a force greater than us, the unknowable essence that we choose to call God. But I've always found it extremely difficult, if not impossible to come up with coherent and clear arguments to defend that position from a rational standpoint, when asked the exact questions William asked. Does it then just boil down to faith? We batted the question around a lot; Prashant had a lot of useful insights to provide - as always! The discussion was really amazing - but I think one of the final conclusions we came to was almost epiphanic for me. From the human perspective, the most elegant and scientific explanation of our existence and the world around us is one that is based on a concept of God because - and I'd say only because - of the existence of these great divine spiritual teachers - Krishna, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, Baha'ullah, etc. It is because these teachers have come and propelled societies forward, because they have been the perfect exemplars of spiritual qualities such as love (the attributes of God), and because they have demonstrated the ability to transform myriad human hearts like "the elixir that transforms copper to gold" that our concept of the world must include the concept of God. It is the acceptance of these divine teachers as being qualitatively different from the rest of the human race, and as being the source of the tremendous leaps made in all aspects of human life - sciences, arts, culture - that necessitates the presence of an extra-earthly spiritual reality. And once we accept them, it is the authority of their claim of the existence of God that makes it true. And thinking about it, it makes sense to me - if there actually were a logical proof of the existence of God, then there really would be no choice but to accept it. But it really requires us to see this transformative element in the teachings of the divine teachers, and see it as the source of morality in the world - and that of course is a choice we all have - accepting or not accepting.

To me, that is a very powerful statement. And very useful as well. For it means that time spent on trying to logically reason this out is time wasted. But its not blind faith either - its more empirical, and a question of fitting the best and simplest theory to one's data - the history of humanity. Evolution cannot really explain that transformative power of the Word of God. Especially on an individual level. It cannot explain why someone who's lived one way all his life can completely change just because of the divine Word. Scientific theories, I sometimes feel, tend to look at abstractions and aggregates - while ignoring the effect on the individual.

I still find it very difficult to translate thoughts to text. The mess of ideas above is clearly indicative of that.

I must say, before I end this post, that I love any discussion that involves Prashant. He has a spirit and purity that cannot but fail to inspire. And personally, it is interacting with people like him and Michelle (his wife) and Vida that really drive home to me the fact that there is indeed a deep spirituality and goodness and love underlying this world of creation.

And so it begins...

...and hopefully it will last. This is my blog of introspection. Jottings on life, spirituality, and beyond - and what little I think I understand about it all.